Let Me Take You on a Journey No One Else Has
The surface of your skin carries measurable electrical currents. Your states of consciousness, including thoughts and emotions, emit frequency waves that can be objectively measured in Hertz.
Your body is constantly broadcasting information about you, and that information is picked up by others on a subconscious level. Around 95% of all communication happens below conscious awareness, purely on a body level. That's why we say people have a vibe, or we are vibing with someone.
Exactly that’s why Carl Jung said:
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."
Let’s talk … Relationship Patterns
We are in constant communication with our environment. I would like you to imagine this: two nervous systems meet. No words are exchanged, yet they are already in dialogue, influencing each other's state. And that conversation might go like this:
… “Oh, you look familiar. It feels like I know you from somewhere.” And the other one goes:
…“Yeah, you look familiar… I might’ve met you before. It feels like it.”
In other words: "Your pattern matches my pattern." Even seeing somebody's image is more than enough, because our brains are wired for pattern recognition.
Alongside that, instant chemistry kicks in. A rapid, biochemical recognition. Your body releases dopamine (reward), adrenaline (excitement), oxytocin (bonding), and possibly cortisol (stress), depending on the emotional charge coming from your limbic system.
In cases of intense attraction to someone who might be not good for you, the chemistry usually shoots sky high. And can be very intense.
Why? Because your system instantly recognises a familiar pattern. Imagine the person you are attracted to as a "stimulus" that activates your patterns. Your invisible rules, those unconscious beliefs.
And it might feel like fate. Yet it is not fate. It is a pattern that just got activated.
The Giver & The Taker
One person seeks worth through self-sacrifice; the other unconsciously exploits care without reciprocity. Intense bond, but imbalanced and draining.
The Fixer & The Wounded
One needs to rescue; the other needs to be rescued. Feels meaningful, but reinforces helplessness and overfunctioning.
The Controller & The Chaotic
One craves control to feel safe; the other brings unpredictability. There's magnetism, but it feeds fear, not stability.
The Avoidant & The Anxious
One fears intimacy, the other fears abandonment. The more one pulls away, the more the other clings — a cycle of rejection and panic.
The Narcissist & The Eco
One needs admiration to regulate their fragile self-worth. The other finds identity in reflecting others, suppressing their own needs. Over time, it erodes their sense of self completely.
Familiar Hell Over Unfamiliar Heaven.
Your subconscious would rather choose a familiar hell than an unfamiliar heaven, because the unfamiliar registers as danger, even if it is everything we claim to want.
This means using self-betrayal as protection. Sacrificing selfhood out of fear of being alone. It means repeatedly choosing partners who are distant, volatile, or emotionally needy. Feeling guilty for having needs or saying no. Keeping yourself constantly busy. Striving for perfection. Over-apologising for simply existing. Linking your worth to what you give. Fearing you will be exposed as a fraud.
And the list goes on, and on.
The Change Starts with Awareness
Your body does not know the difference between familiar and good. It only knows what is familiar. And so you find yourself in the same dynamic again. The same kind of partner. The same fights.
Here is the thing: toxic can feel like home. Volatile can feel like passion. Emotionally unavailable can feel familiar. The patterns were learned long ago. Internalised. Embedded deep in the body's structures. They run on autopilot, below conscious awareness, steering you toward what feels coherent, even when it breaks your heart.
Yet those patterns can be changed. It starts with awareness. That is where the change unfolds.