A Little About Me
My roots are in Poland, in the city of Gdansk. My early life was shaped by the realities of the communist days. The empty shelves, the long queues for toilet paper, ration cards, and strikes. I lived through the martial law, military and tanks on the streets, power cuts, and all that jazz. It probably explains my strange and ongoing love affair with both structure and rebellion.
You might ask yourself, Mishka, what kind of name is that? It is the anglicised version of my Polish nickname, Miśka, turned name. I anglicised it for simple health and safety reasons, As one does. As I wanted to spare people not only from scratching their heads, but also from breaking their tongues in an attempt to pronounce it.
Who I am ?
Like most, I am many things to many people. One would say that I am a curious creature. Playful, open, and quietly stubborn. I have been called a walking contradiction: the most practical spiritual person some know, and the most spiritual practical one. I guess, both are true.
Truth be told, I am something of a heathen. I love nature. I do not have a set or fixed belief system. In my view, there is no single path.
I value freedom of thought, belief, and choice. Also humour. If we cannot laugh at ourselves along the way, what is the point? I have a soft spot for mischief, being silly, and the holy power of play.
At heart, I am Jungian. I see it as a philosophy, a form of inner work, soul work if you will. As Jung's work draws deeply from shamanic practices, Kabbalah, Hermetic philosophy and Alchemy.
For me, that is one of the main frameworks that supports on my journey.
The Back Drop
I was fortunate enough to receive a thorough classical education, which included history, philosophy, cultural and religious studies and Latin. I have studied law and political sciences, and picked up a few postgraduate degrees along the way, including one in psychology. On top of that, I was good at sports and for a while I was a training as a semi-professional athlete.
And yet… I was gifted this inner, innate ability, a gift that some call the second sight. In time, it stood in striking opposition to my scientific, rational mind. Learning to manage it and harness it took me many years. Not only learning how to trust it but how to get the hang of it, including how to dial it down. There were many periods in my life when I truly resented it. I vividly remember being 9, praying to be like the other children, being angry that I could not be the way everyone else was.
For that reason I had to learn how to bridge opposites. It was not a matter of choice but rather a matter of necessity. Suppressing it was not an option. Neither was letting it run amok.
How It All Started ?
We lived a 15 minute walk from the heart of Gdańsk's Old City. Our house was built before WWII when Gdańsk was Free City of Danzig. After war the place was called Lehmkaule, before that it was called Grosse Molde. Thus many of the people who lived on our street spoke Polish, German and Yiddish.
The street is long and every house has a sizable back garden. My grandmother knew everyone, Nothing got past her. And she often took me with her when she went for coffee, a cigarette, and a bit of gossip, to see the neighbors
Because I was under their feet, they would usually send me into the garden or find something to do. Still, I was a very curious child and always wanted to see what they were up to. Some of my grandmother’s friends read playing cards and Tarot, and I was fascinated by it.
Because I was always watching and listening to them doing the cards. Around 14 or 15 I began drawing my own Tarot deck. Not detailed images, but symbols. I had an inner sense of what they meant. Around this age, I was introduced to what people call the occult.
It started with Kabbalah. I was taught that nature speaks the language of mathematics. How to understand numbers and calculate the relationships between them. This sparked a lifelong learning journey for me of esoteric knowledge.
There were plenty of people around me who were engaged in this or another form of occultism. However, I never joined any chapter or order. I was happy to observe from the outside. It gave me a good understanding of what something actually is, how it works, and how to discern the difference between what is genuine thing/knowledge and what is ‘pop culture” take on it.
The Meat and Potatos
So…. from early on, I was able to see, experience, and do things that others could not. Moreover, I had very little to no control over them. I was overwhelmed and scared by it all. As a teenager, there was a great deal of activity around me, including what some describe as poltergeist activity.
Everything I learned, I learned on my own, through trial and error. It took me years and years to not be scared, stop reacting, and simply observe. Even though I can do mediumship, it is not something I practise.
The key for me was to find the way that worked for me. How to effectively manage my own thoughts, feelings, fears, and therefore my own field. It is still an ongoing the process,
I did many silly things, as you do when embarking on a trial and error journey. I am curious by nature—and yes, curiosity killed the cat. My approach was let’s try it and see "What will happen if I do this?" And then I had to deal with whatever unfolded. As a result, I learned through direct experience and consequence. The hard way.
Especially when I embarked on my journey with Ayahuasca for a considerable period of time. It was indeed a beautiful, transformative and challenging experience. At one point I wanted to make the Amazon my home. And believe me you, this not for everyone.
It takes time to learn how to navigate it. It can at times be mind-blowing ecstatic and at other times absolutely brutal. On many occasions, I witnessed things that defied the laws of physics as we know them.
Contrary to popular belief, it is not all rainbows and unicorns, as it is often portrayed. Behind the veil are many things out there, and that is why I have enormous respect for so called “unseen”.
Not only because I can see it more often than not, but because I have experienced those forces first hand.
